A Weekend of MINDFULNESS helps manage a busy life...

As life seems to get busier and busier and there seems to be a endless build-up of expensive and time consuming bureaucratic processes heading my way, I have been thrilled to experience a day (and weekend) of moments that have brought my mind to a halt and made me appreciate solitary moments of time.

Seeing this super yacht equipped with own helicopter was a random enough site in the harbour, not something you see everyday in Wellington.

Super rich yachts

 The first random event of the weekend occurred when one of my football team mates invited me to the opening ceremony of the '24 hr Relay for Life' race at Frank Kitts park. The reason for the invitation was because another mutual friend (Nick) was giving a speech as a 'cancer survivor' before the event began. The event was huge with 87 teams (some with up to 100 members) including several schools from the region, running / walking 24hours in aid of cancer charities. see below.... 

Relay for Life Ceremony

Nick's speech was one that took me by surprise, having not been aware of the scale of his battle against illness and all that he has endured over the past 4 years. There were plenty more people in the crowd that had similar stories. Nick's humorous, yet moving account of his recovery along with plenty more tales of both successful and unsuccessful battles against Cancer could be heard from the audience. Listening to Nick's speech was the first moment of the day where I felt totally mindful of the moment I was in. There was also a moving performance from a group called 'StarJam' who finished with the event theme song - 'Somewhere over the rainbow'. The event included an evening remembrance service for people who have died from Cancer related illnesses. 

StarJam performance

I had my own remembrance service planned (for my gran) that evening, and was soon on a bus up the Kapiti Coast.... 
As the weather forecast suggested a clear day, I had decided it was time to say goodbye to my gran in my own way (having been unable to attend the funeral in the UK). Taking a candle to the beach had seemed a fitting way to remember her... First stop was a bite to eat and a walk along the beach from Paekakariki station.....

Paekakariki, Kapiti Coast

Jumping for Life @ Paekakariki

The beach was pleasantly empty, as it usually is, and so I took full advantage to get another jumping photo in! The log just made it perfect! The sun began to set and I got to snapping away to capture the moment as best I could....

Birdlife at Paekakariki

The local wildlife were quick to join us, mainly because my friend who'd accompanied me, decided to waste some perfectly good Cadbury's Chocolate 'Fingers' on the seagulls. I quickly grabbed the chocolates, and set about eating them myself!

Dusk at Kapiti Coast

 As the sun began to fade we made our way out into the sea with a little candle holder, which was floating nicely, but the wind just wouldn't let me light the candles sufficiently to set them out floating. An OT always has the 'smarts' to improvise right? So finding some rocks that offered some shelter allowed us to light the candles until they burned out, whilst we sat back and watched the ever changing colours in the sky!    

Candles by the beach...

Changing colours @ dusk.... 

Being Mindful

The time spent on the deserted beach really allowed us to become mindful of everything around us in that moment, the sights (color of the sky), sounds (seagulls & waves), smells and feel of the sand underfoot. No other thoughts were invading my mind, and I was able to enjoy the tranquility of living in the moment for a second time that day.  

 Mindfulness: (also translated as awareness) is a spiritual or psychological faculty (indriya) that, according to the teaching of the Buddha, is of great importance in the path of enlightenment.

Mindfulness is a concept I have touched on before, and used to help many people in my line of work, deal with significant distress, to avoid self harm behaviours and deal with suicidal thoughts. It's also something that has existed for years in spiritual concepts like Buddhism. The use of mindfulness techniques in mental health practices seems to be on the increase, and I've also heard many people tell me that going to a particular place of tranquility seems to be something that helps them 'keep well'. 

I think I'm starting to really appreciate why mindfulness can be so effective in this kind of environment. These seagulls seem to have been aware of this for a while I think....

Regards from New Zealand...

Dan 

Generation 'Y' & Modern day illness - the innovation of loneliness???

Hi Everybody, 

Thanks for the very lovely comments regarding last week's post, and especially for the kind thoughts and offers of support that people have sent from all over the place. How amazing has technology become whereby friends (both actual people I have met and connected with, and virtual on-line friends), could offer support to me in the 'bottom corner of the world'. 

I'm sat here on a Sunday night at 21:08, alone in my lounge, after a weekend of football, a Botanical garden light and sound show, and a record (for me at least) 13k run around the bays of Wellington. A good friend just commented to me (via text) about their perception that I have 'busy weekends'. I don't think I have busy weekends, but on reflection, I realize I judge my weekends by what I do in terms of actions, and often by the amount of time I spend in the company of others - the direct company of others. 

Whilst growing up with a group of kids on a street, who always played outside, regardless of the weather , and being encouraged to try many 'doing' activities, (along with a fair few backpacking trips around different parts of the world), I have come to accept that I judge and value well spent time, as time with other people, and can feel comfortable being alone too.   

I accept that the same can't be said for everybody, and certainly generational differences are even harder to account for. As I sit thinking about the amount of time I have spent on electronic devices this weekend, and the amount of hours I have used up communicating with people who are not in the same room, building or local area, I do wonder about the changing way people are relating to each other 

I recently saw a brilliant video talking about this very issue, and it was derived from a TED talk by a woman called Sherry Turkle - 'Connected but alone?'

This video begins to touch on the issues described in recent presentations and research about the new ways we communicate and the issues faced by the new generation ' GENERATION 'Y'. 

I have debates about the issue of modern day depression, the ever-seemingly increasing number of people in life, and at work, that I come across that have a profound sense of ENTITLEMENT. People who are looking for reasons as to why life has not gone the way they feel it should have worked out for them, especially unable to understand why their specialness has not been recognized, or indeed why they feel 'lost' and 'helpless' and unable to find their place in the world. In has been suggested through anecdotal & some research that there is an ever increasing presence of REACTIVE Anxiety & Depression which has taken over as one of the leading illnesses in the developed world.

This is often referred to as an existential crisis. Defined by Wikipedia as a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether their life has any meaning, purpose or value.^[1] This issue of the meaning and purpose of existence is the topic of the philosophical school of existentialism.

If the issues raised in the video are more than anecdotal truths, and we are becoming afraid of intimacy of the human kind through ever decreasing exposure to real-time life, these 3 factors which help to maintain a sense of control through the use of social media:

1) That we can put our attention where ever we want it:

2)  That we will always be heard:

3) That we will never have to be alone

, these factors will change our psyches - and will will judge ourselves through what we 'share' how we present ourselves rather than what we can actually accomplish. Faking experiences, so we have something to share, is not an uncommon feature of on-line behavior.

Now those of you with burning questions and contradicting statements just hang on. The people that often challenge me the most about these issues are usually people from my own generation or older, that experienced their formative years in real-time life and then had exposure to the technological age. I'm just raising discussion and asking us to consider what are the possible influences in the changing presentations we see in health care issues today???? 

If reactive mood disorders are becoming more prevalent, people are scared to be alone and feel less skilled in real time communication, so substitute real life quality interactions for on-line connections, then the sense not achieving what success in life, (that everyone else seems to be achieving by 'sharing' and 'defining' themselves), will only get worse?

If we do indeed 'slip into thinking that always being connected' (through phones, iPad, computers, consoles) will make us feel less lonely, we could be in for some serious trouble - as some people would argue the opposite is true... 

GENERATION Y - if we believe the theory of how the current generation that are entering the 'productive and meaningful' life phase - (i.e. the working world), and how they are showing signs of entitled behavior, why might this be? The general theory is that whilst Grandparents generations mantra was 'work hard so their kids (Gen Y's parents) could have a better life', and then Gen Y's parents, grew up with a mantra ' work hard, and collect the rewards after hard work' - then it's been suggested that Gen Y's mantra is 'individuals are special, you'll be recognized for being special, and don't have to wait as long or work as hard for it' - you can understand why problems are occurring. Lets look at expectations vs disappointment.

1) Grand parents generation = Low expectations (after war / depressions) & low disappointment with the outcome.

2) Parent's generations = medium expectations (high after years of work / save to buy house, furniture, car) & low disappointment with outcome (economies were growing / jobs were easier / less over crowding).

3) Gen Y - High expectations (can do everything, travel, have family, own property, be successful, be what ever you want to be) & High disappointment - (mass competition for jobs, slowing economy, childhood message of 'be whatever you want to be' is not realistic in the modern world, without hard work). 

The questions raised are, with unrealistic messages in childhood leading to a more constant sense of disappointment with life, in this transitional phase in life, and with a potential lack of quality real time relations for support, is the defining characteristic from this upcoming generation going to be one of poor mental health? Is a repetitive sense of disappointment, with poor emotional coping strategies as a result increasing definitions of success driven by on-line life, leading to an generational existential crisis?

I accept that personal responsibility, individualism, culture, parenting, influences from social and physical environment all contribute to the overall development of an individual. Also as someone who has benefited greatly through the use of technology, (teaching 'on-line', publications, blogging, and forging an international reputation in my field), I am not saying technology is BAD & TERRIBLE. Far from it. I'm simply saying asking us to take a long hard look at how we communicate and consider the outcomes that are evident around us.

On a personal note, I will certainly be restricting the amount of 'on-line' time my (potential) kids have during the course of a day / week. I hope schools and educational facilities ask themselves these questions when they consider 'best practice'.

Regards from New Zealand.

Dan

The best and worst of life, wonderful Wellington, & the use social media in 'Therapy' .

Me & my Nanna

Hi everyone, it's now March 2014 (Yep, where did the time go?).

It's been a while since my last blog, and even though I intended to have a little break, it's been longer than I anticipated. There's been a lot going on in life since my last post in November, and for once I'm going to share a little bit of my personal journey....

30th Birthday

Whilst at home visiting friends and family at Xmas, my world changed. My gran became ill (and died just 3 weeks later). Whilst nothing will ever fill the hole in my life left by my gran, I do wonder if there is some invisible force that directed the events of the last few days of my Gran's life to allow family from far and wide to come together, as a serious of randomly planned visits. These recent events have certainly played a large part in my current thinking about which path to travel down for the next few months/years, leading to lots of unanswered questions.

These events also made me become more mindful of the distance between myself and those people I'm closest to: family, friends, and loved ones. I love where I live, Wellington is like a paradise for me, in so many ways, but missing the central characters in my life. It's kind of like eating at your favorite restaurant but never feeling totally satisfied with the whole experience. The atmosphere is relaxed, the service is fantastically friendly, the prices are reasonable, the food tastes great, the company is good, but there will always be an empty chair or two at the table...

WELLINGTON'S WONDERS...

The level of satisfaction living here is really like nothing I have experienced anywhere else in the world. Here's a sample list of the events (often free) that have been on around the city - JUST IN THE LAST 4 WEEKS -
- DRAGON BOAT RACING (free to watch)
- NEWTOWN FESTIVAL (70,000 PEOPLE) - free
- KILBIRNIE & ISLAND BAY FESTIVALS - free
- 10/21K ROUND THE BAYS RACE - free post race events including music & food
- WELLINGTON WATERFONT SUMMER THURSDAYS - (music, craft stalls, & Salsa) - free
- FILMS BY STARLIGHT - free outdoor movies
- NZ FESTIVAL - many art / performance acts - free drum, band & choir concert.
Check out some pictures below from some of the events!
- POWER PLANT - Fastasia style sound & light show in Botanical Gardens

Start of the NZ Festival - Big Bang Concert

Choir @ NZ Festival event.

Big Bang Concert

Big Bang Concert

The Newton Festival was something I'd heard people talk about, and living just round the corner made me think I should check it out. On a gloriously sunny Sunday last week, me and my flatmate Bez were able to wander through the small suburb of Newtown where you could eat from one of the 100+ food outlets / stalls, and listen to a variety of music from one of 7/8 stages! 

Crowd entertainment @ Newtown Festival

Random things @ Newtown Festival

Local music...

Solo shows...

Small stages...

Best seat in the house?

More music....

Jazzing it up on the big stage....

This weekend (today and yesterday) was the annual Dragon Boat Racing - which my ultimate goal is to raise enough money to buy a place in the race for mental health clients, staff and families to race in. The DHB (Health Trust) do have boats for staff as far as I am aware... I learned that once a team is entered they have 8 one hour practice runs before the event itself. It was another lovely day with people lined up all along the waterfront enjoying the spectacle, they even let some Aussie (Australian) teams compete, but needles to say they didn't win. 

Check out the grand final video below from day 1!

The final thing I was going to write about was some of the issues about using social media in therapy, and the way we are communicating with clients and families of clients, through rapidly changing technology. However, as the clock strikes 22:40 here, I am thinking that should be a separate post entirely... 

So my final word goes to all those people who have offered me time, a listening ear, support and encouragement, and most importantly friendship over the past 2 months...  A HUGE THANK YOU... and as a dedication to you Nanna, here's the poem.

My Nana

My Nana was fun, always smiling and smart,

But not in a way where she knew about art,

Or about politics, or current news affairs,

But she knew about life, and about how to care…

My Nana had ups, and her fair share of downs,

But always moved on, making smiles from frowns,

My Nana had a spirit, not quite like any other,

With infectious charm, sometimes frustrating my mother.

My Nana made friends everywhere, it never took long. 

All it would take, was a smile or a song,

In Asda, Boots, Aldi or Tesco

There would be a new friend, where ever she’d go.

My Nana could shock, always surprise, be funny,

Even dressing up twice, as a Hugh Hefner bunny.

My favourite costume, that she bought to look good,

Had to be, the quite naughty, red-riding hood!

My Nana loved flowers, and going away,

With my mum, my sister, on many a holiday

To Germany, Spain especially Scotland,

She’d come back with tales of fun on the sand.

My Nana loved life, and ‘Black Russians’, too,

Of the alcoholic kind, she occasionally get through.

She’d welcome each girlfriend I ever brought home,

With such a kind heart, they’d feel like her own.

My Nana loved life and went many places,

Bury Market, Ashton, she knew many faces.

‘That lovely lady”, we’d hear many times,

From all kind of strangers, from all walks of life.

My Nana loved life, and was loved in return,

By many a person, and now here we all yearn,

For one more laugh, one more smile

One more song, for that final mile.

As we say goodbye to my fun-loving gran,

Please remember these times, that made us a fan,

Of this woman, who knew the true meaning of life,

That despite many hardships, it’s easy to love life.

Regards from New Zealand.